Four weeks ago I started the 30 Day Paleo Challenge again for the second time. This time around there was no cleaning out the pantry and making my family do it with me. I was going to maintain and be strong. There were options for me and surely I could do this. I have fallen off the wagon so many times I have lost count but each day I would continue to make the effort and I would have a string of great days. The last 4 days have been horrible.
My downfall? My trigger? My husband started the downward spiral. I’m not going into details for obvious reasons. What I can tell you is he set me off. First I was angry, then I was confused, then I was sad. Hit the gym! That will fix it so I thought. Surely I could shake this because after all it’s a choice right? On the way to the gym I had an epiphany about a friendship that only exists in a particular setting. For example you only talk to church friends at church, or gym friends at the gym etc. You might share a lot of personal things but outside of that space then you don’t really count. You get the idea. Any way this sent me further down the spiral.
Then my back pain set in and I just kept going further and further down until I stayed home because it was no longer a good idea to be around people. That is so NOT like me at all. I’m a bit of a social butterfly so if I’m down something is wrong. I had a thousand rationalizations for what I was going through! Hormonal, working out too much, paleo, just need sleep, pain, etc… all signs were pointing to rest and maybe this would end. It didn’t end. Slowly I began grabbing a pretzel or two and then a spoon full of ice cream. I didn’t care at ALL. I just wanted to feel better. I slept a LOT for two days. Nothing was working. I prayed about it and after working the pumpkin patch on Sunday I finally felt better. Maybe I just needed to spend some time outdoors.
Now it’s Monday and I figured well that’s it, I’ve pretty much blown the challenge and it’s all over with so I weighed in and that was that. Off I go to Starbucks for my “skinny” caramel macchiato because the challenge is over and I can have a coffee now. Whoo Hoo! Then the kids wanted stuff for Smores. We hit the grocery store and what’s for dinner? Italian or Mexican oh YUMMY!!! On top of that I had a craving for some cupcakes. I was going to eat my weight in yummy goodness, feel like crap and reboot tomorrow.
That was the plan until my fellow challengers informed me that in fact there are two days left because it’s the 30 day Paleo challenge. OMG! I had just pulled the cupcakes out of the oven. Do you know how long it’s been since I have had a baked good? I just wanted one! I had to cook the lasagna because that is what I bought for dinner. I didn’t eat the lasagna. Nope there are two more days left. Stay strong! I tried but I just ate about 5 cupcakes. I was good all day and then just broke like a twig. Yep I’m sick to my stomach now. I was lending an ear to a friend but without realizing it, got totally stressed out and started eating them, the cupcakes not the friend. 🙁
And that ladies is NOT paleo! I can’t get any more real than that. It’s true. Inspiring? I don’t know. Tomorrow I reboot and try again. Tomorrow I go workout.
I’m still trying to raise money for Barbells for Boobs if you would like to donate. 🙂
For ALL my military sistas! Check out my other project Help a Soldier.
Monday – Thursday Crossfit
Friday – Sunday – She rested.
A special reminder for us all…
- The long term goal 37 pounds by the end of the year.
- The short term goal lose 3 lbs. per month.
- January 172 – 160 = 12 pound loss (this is Paleo!)
- February 165 – 161 = 4 pound loss
- March 166- 165 = 1 pound loss
- April 165 – 162 = 3 pound loss
- May 163 -164 = 1 pound gain
- June 165 -163 = 2 pound loss
- July 164 – 156 = 8 pound loss
- August 155 -158 =2 pound gain
- September 156 – 152 = 4 pound loss
- October 152